draco's thoughts
by hp-girl1
Summary: Draco thinks on some things
1. Default Chapter

If any of you read my other story that I posted, you noticed that it was messed up. Sorry about that. I wrote this one during Algebra 2 today. It wasn't meant to be for Harry Potter but I'm posting it anyway. 

Summary: Draco thinks an some things. 

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The world is a dark, dark place. This is something that I've learned a long time ago. The people are cruel and selfish. No one cares for anyone except for themselves. Of course, I had to learn that the hard way. I was once a loving and caring person. But my heart was treated like something dirty, something filthy. But no one will ever get into my heart, or anywhere close, again. No one will ever hurt me again. My heart was turned into ice and is now unbreakable.

I observe the people around me. They're all laughing and having fun. Fun. Does that even exist? Are those people really happy? Or are they just pretending? I see all those smiling faces and I just want to smash something. I've been told to smile a lot. It's just something that I don't do. I don't even remember the last time that I smiled. I have no reason to. And it's a waste or energy.

Ah, it's storming. Perfect weather in my opinion. Everyone is sulking because they can't go outside. They want _sun_. What's the point in the sun? I hate it. It's so bright and I can't stand it. It puts me in a worse mood than I'm usually in. And that makes me pretty nasty. I prefer it to be dark and rainy. Just like my life. 

I don't have friends. A true friend is something that I've never had. Sure, at one point in time, I thought I did. But I was mistaking. You see, it's not wise to trust people. Not very wise at all. Again, I had to learn that the hard way.

Why are people so loud? Can't they see? All I want is some peace and quiet. I just want to yell, LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE! But that just wouldn't be me. I control myself in public. I keep to myself only speaking if I have to. I'll throw out a few insults here and there to make me look like a bad ass but other than that, I'm pretty quiet. But in private, I completely change. I let my emotions out. I'll cry, I'll scream. I take all my frustrations out on myself. So much shit piles on my shoulders during the day. So much. It takes everything I have inside me to not break down. But I have to keep up a front. No one can see me weak. I have to be strong in front of them. I have to.

The storm is over. But the rain is still coming down hard. It's beating hard against the window like it's trying to come in and get me. Or maybe it seems that way because I want out. Out. Yes. That's what I want to do. I want to get out from everything. And everyone.

I close my eyes because I feel the tears threatening to fall. I take a few deep breaths and open my eyes. I look around to make sure that no one is watching me. No one is. I turn my head to the window again and the tears fell. They are streaming down my face, strongly reminding me of the rain outside.

I took a deep breath once more and wiped off my eyes as well as my face. I turned from the window. 

It's time for bed. I do what I do every night. I make a wish that I won't wake up. But I know that I will and I know that tomorrow will be the same as today. Nothing ever changes.


	2. thoughts

I've decided to write another chapter because my first reviewer would like to know Draco's story. So, please let me know what you think of it. Thank you.

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I don't know how long I've been sitting at this window. It seems that this is where I spend the majority of my time. I like to be by myself but these people just won't leave me alone. Always bothering me. Always wanting to know what's wrong. What's wrong? What's wrong? That question is stuck in my head. 

My thoughts went straight to Christina. Oh God, that bitch. I hate her. I would have to say that it was her that ruined my life. It wasn't all her of course, but she was the only one that I had loved. I felt a ping of sadness when I thought about my life before her. Sure, it was perfect, but I was happy. I had been one of those people that smiled. But that was such along time ago.

Some girl just got a letter from her parents. There's another reason for me to hate life. Parents. Father and Mother. That girl looks so happy as she reads her letter. I cringe at the sight. I, of course, hate mine. They were the planners of that awful plot. The plot with Christina. I had actually felt a little love towards them when they introduced me to her. I was happy. 

I stare out the window once more. It's night. My favorite time of the day. The darkness. And those stars. They look so small up there in that huge sky. So small indeed.

I heard laughter behind me so I turn around. Oh, all these sights are disturbing. Little groups of friends telling jokes and laughing. How can all those people be so naïve? They'll all see someday that no one can be trusted. No one.

I turned my attention away form those stupid people just in time to see a shooting star. I hadn't seen one since that night. Oh, that dreadful night. That night that I was changed forever. My head was flooded with the memories.

\\_I was laying in the grass with Christina watching the stars when I saw the shooting star. I had rolled over and whispered, _I love you_, in her ear. She smiled and kissed me on the cheek. She suggested that we go inside. I listened. We got inside the manor and my father was there with the rest of the death eaters. The confusion must have showed on my face because they all smirked. Christina had left my side and joined them. Christina's father then explained everything to me. How Christina had been using me. He told me that they were using her as a distraction. They knew that I didn't want to be a death eater. They were using her to find out all my weaknesses. It worked. She knew everything about me. And know, they did too. I didn't fight it as they branded me. I never took my eyes off Christina. The look she was giving me showed that I didn't mean anything to her.//_

I hung my head. After that night, I never wanted to see her again. And I haven't. Now everyone thinks I'm some heartless monster. And I guess I am. But I don't care what they think. They don't mean anything to me. Life sucks. And it's something that you have to get used to. 

Oh, the smiling faces. Too many of them. I have to get away from them. Far far away. Off to another sleepless night. 

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Ok, I know that this isn't that good. And I know that it might not make some sense in some parts but please keep in mind that this is his thoughts and sometimes thoughts doesn't make sense. I don't know if I should keep going with this. Does it have any potential or is it a lost cause?


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